The arrival of a baby is like a whirlwind in life – and of course, in your relationship. Honestly, I truly believe that either it works, or it breaks.
During pregnancy, already, you, the mom, have to face all the physical and hormonal changes. It’s no small feat, and sometimes it’s hard to manage your emotions and reactions. It’s difficult for you, and I think it is also for the other parent. Even at this stage, tensions can arise.
Then, your baby is born, and the postpartum period follows. Along with the drop in hormones. A lot happens within you, the mom, with new physical and hormonal changes. Plus, nights might be short, the cries of your newborn can be overwhelming, and adjusting to life as a family of three can be challenging. It’s possible that your relationship takes a big hit in all of this. Priorities shift, you have no time for “us,” it’s entirely consumed by this little being who has a vital need for its parents. You must find a balance where every family member finds its place. In the beginning – and I don’t know for how long – you’re kind of walking on a tightrope. And it’s also in this search for balance that your relationship can be put to the test.
What’s important in those moments is to remember that you’re a team. Yes, each person in your home must find their place in this new life, but at the same time, this journey is to be made together. Moving forward hand in hand despite the tensions, arguments, and disagreements.
Disagreements can arise in your relationship with the arrival of a baby. All the questions around parenting, well-being, and more can lead to differences. This is normal because your partner didn’t have the same upbringing as you, and their ideas and values might not be the same. What’s important – and something I work on every day – is to make room for the other parent. To consider their ideas, needs, and feelings too.
The lack of time for just the two of you doesn’t necessarily help avoid conflicts or bring you back together. But know that there’s a time for everything. Soon enough, you’ll be able to go out for a romantic dinner, have a drink, or go to the movies. When both of you, as individuals and as a couple, have found your balance. And in the meantime, what I would recommend is to not forget about each other. You may no longer have time for your relationship, but you’re still together. Sometimes, just a little word of love, a small gesture, or an act of kindness can be enough to maintain that connection. This connection that has brought you even closer since the arrival of your child. Don’t forget it.
Finally, if conflicts arise in your relationship, I truly think it’s normal. The most important thing is communication. And if you were already doing it before, communicate even more. Try to understand each other, try to say things calmly, even if it means taking a step back for a few minutes or hours. What matters is moving forward together. And one day, moments for just the two of you will return, and your balance will continue to strengthen.
