Personally, I had a miscarriage at the very beginning of my pregnancy, around 5 weeks. I found out I was pregnant, announced it to my partner and then to my sister. For a week, we projected ourselves into the future, imagined this future baby, and rejoiced. Then one afternoon, excruciating pain in my lower abdomen appeared, followed by bleeding. I kept hoping, even though deep down I knew exactly what was happening. The next morning, the pain intensified and there was more and more blood. I came to terms with it: this fetus, which in my mind was already a baby, would not grow any further. We lost it.
What hurt me extremely, in addition to losing this little being, was that I was told that fortunately, the pregnancy was very early. My gynecologist said the same, explaining that this often happens, that the baby probably had a malformation and that nature was well designed. I felt that this loss was being minimized, and I even convinced myself for a while that it wasn’t such a big deal. Yes, fortunately, I didn’t lose my baby at 3, 4, or 6 months of pregnancy – and I think with all my heart of all the women to whom this has happened – but I still lost a baby.
So, even if you had an early miscarriage, you have the right to be sad, to grieve this loss, and to take your time to recover. And to you, who supports a woman who has had a miscarriage, never minimize her pain and grief. Maybe this woman – and her partner – had been envisioning the baby from the very first day.
